I think the bathroom is a time warp. Think about it. When you go take a shit, you never really think about how long you’ve been in there because you’re thinking about how good it feels to be taking a shit and not holding it in anymore. But when you come out and your friend is waiting there, he always says either “Wow, you dropped a deuce that fast?” or the ever-popular “What, did you fucking fall in or something???” Just once I’d like to come out of the bathroom and have someone say, “Joe, that took exactly the amount time I thought it would.”
That would be great.
