College…..what the fuck. Everyone made college out to be the “greatest years of your life.” Personally, I would love to give the person who came up with that a swift kick in the jollies. College is work, and work is hell, therefore, college is hell. I wish high school could have prepared me more for this. When I went to my first class, “college” already had a big “Fuck You” sticker waiting for me at my desk. College is rough. I miss being herded around like in high school, always being told what to do, because at least back then we knew what we should be and shouldn’t be doing. When you get to college, you are basically on your own. Left out there for a pack of rabid badgers to feast upon your freshman flesh. The sad thing is, is that it doesn’t end here. When we graduate, we have to go out, and get real jobs. No more living at home, no more mooching off your parents, and no more free hand outs. We are just pushed into a cut-throat world. At the time when I graduate, I want the dean to hand me my diploma and as I am leaving the stage, slap my ass and tell me “Good fucking luck, ass hole,” because then at least I would know he wasn’t lying to me. Real world, here I come.
A funny thing happened in Astronomy today. A kid came in late during class, sat at the top of the lecture hall, and made a big ruckus, during which he spilled his entire bottle of Evian water. This pissed plenty of people off, some of whom I am sure were willing to exterminate this guy with extreme prejudice.
After picking my book bag up off the ground, my friend Val and I wondered how this situation would have gone if it were a Mentos commercial. We concluded that after he dropped the bottle, numerous people would turn around and stare at him menacingly, to which he would pull out his trusty sleeve of Mentos, pop one in, and then give the trademark pose. The scene would end with the entire class giving him a round of applause as he ran a lap around the room freely giving out “high-fives.”
P.S. – Astronomy is boring.
P.P.S. – If the Iron Oxide crust of Mars would release oxygen into the atmosphere, it could possibly create hospitable living conditions.
